• 12/09


    Make sure each element you're conveying is absolutely mandatory. Favor readability, entertainment, brevity, and audience clarity over making sure the reader and audience fully grasp the historical accuracy and detail you've obviously taken great effort to present. Read More:

  • 11/25


    By script page ten, we know thoroughly that the film is about teleportation, and that it's dangerous. That's good. But what would be better is if we knew on page 1 that the SLT's were dangerous. Plant a seed there on p. 1 or 2. Maybe someone comes out of the SLT with something just a Read More:

  • 06/30


    Paring down sluglines, getting rid of useless exposition and redundant action, and making a script's first 10 pages more evocative by having your characters muddle through less dialogue. How many of these mistakes are you making? Read More:

  • 04/03


    The Dominion by M. Cook The amount of text on the screenplay’s first page, as well as the camera direction, immediately flags this hiphop script / urban script as a difficult read and less-than-professional. But the good news is that that’s an easy thing to fix. EXT. AERIAL VIEW OF HARLEM – LATE EVENING Poor […] Read More:

  • 03/29


    Lament by M. Flores The conversations feel real. The situations feel real.  The characters are alive.  The story, or at least the first part of it, is clearly about a man about to be unfaithful with his wife. This is a good hook to pull readers in with. See if you can get to it […] Read More:

  • 03/14


    WHAT GUS CAN’T DO Pare down the leaves/trees description a bit – and other descriptions like it throughout the script: EXT. PLAYGROUND – DAY A large family of trees in view. Sounds of wind flowing through. Leaves clap. Accompanying sounds: children, their laughter, their jovial language. A beautiful, serene moment. (beat) EXT. PLAYGROUND – DAY […] Read More:

  • 02/07


    WHEN FREDDY MET FRED BEING FREDDY by P. Hay Read the pages here: When Freddy Don’t put a synopsis or logline on your title page. Flags you as an amateur, even if you may not be. Pare down your description: EXT. STREET – DAY Open on a busy, small town street. Cars whizzing by. Sidewalks […] Read More:

  • 01/29


    LIFE FOR A LIFE Matthews or Mathews? It’s different from dialogue to character name on p.1 The science is good, and what’s unfolding is interesting, but hold our hands a bit in those first few pages.  The tech/the science – it gets a bit heady and hard to follow. And I’m a big sci-fi guy. […] Read More:


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