First 10 Pages – Ruby Bay by T. Campbell

B. O'Malley

Free Script Notes To Go

logo for Free Script Notes on your first 10 pages

These first ten pages move along at a perfect pace, with well-rendered characters and places that make turning the page easy and fast, and unnoticeable.

Liam is our protagonist, and we already give a damn, and can relate to him (especially the more bookish among us).

The pages paint the possibility of a tall tale about to be told, by placing it in Ireland (I’m assuming), giving us an old mysterious tower, and a missing ruby.  But it’s not insulting our intelligence.

Any company looking for a live action kids’ adventure with a pinch of magical realism will tear past these first 10 pages eagerly.  That being said, it’s not so specifically oriented on a children’s audience that it loses adults.

The ALL CAPS towards the end of page 10 makes me think you just put all that there as a placeholder, and haven’t finished the entire script.

Well, you’re off to a great start.

Ruby_Bay_by_Tony_Campbell

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *